Thursday, July 28, 2011

when things get tough

I don't really rant & rave about how hard my life is on here much. Mostly because my life is not that hard, I love it & Isobel has been a dream child so far. And  because I know people have it way harder than me I don't feel right complaining about all the little things that tick me off.
But lately things have been getting pretty rough around here & today I finally lost the plot.
Isobel has gone from being a laid back happy baby to a clingy, non stop crying machine. I'm hoping it's just a faze or it's teething. I keep getting that crappy "mum guilt" that maybe I'm not doing enough to stimulate her or she's not getting enough sleep or needs more of a routine. But how the hell do I know if I'm doing something wrong!
She's unwilling to play on the floor by herself or with me, she'll play with her toys for a second before she starts whining & reaching out for me. And when I grab her she just throws herself about on me.
I can't leave the room without her crying out. Today I had to just leave her crying & doing what we call the "angry roll" (when she rolls about the room crying & complaining). I've got angry with her & I hate that. I don't want to be the Mum that loses the plot & flips out at her kids. I don't want to be the mum that hasn't had a shower & wears no make up & feels crap all the time.
All of this would be ok if I knew I was going to get a break at some point
Naps: not happening either. She'll go down for half an hour at the most & she's diabolical to get down for one in the first place. Today she just screamed...I had to leave her to it as I had hit breaking point, I sat on the couch with a cup of tea & cried. I looked about the room, looking at all the things that needed to be done & wondered if I'd ever get some time to myself where I didn't have to hear Isobel scream in the background or think about all the things that needed to be done.

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